Men have always had to do much of the heavy lifting in the initial stages of dating. They’re the ones who have to approach women (except in LA) and open themselves up to rejection.
They have to figure out the right opening line or joke to impress us while we have the option to either:
a) stand there and roll our eyes at our girlfriends
b) encourage and receive him
c) politely refuse him or
d) bitch slap him with our frigid stare.
That’s a lot to endure if things don’t go well. Then they have to make all the moves in the beginning (if a woman lets him): initiate the phone calls (I mean ambiguous texts and ‘safe’ emails), set up the dates, choose the venue, keep things interesting, etc... I know that for the most part, men really enjoy being in the role of the pursuer. I guess I’m just extra sensitive to a man’s responsibility in approaching women because we’re working with some wonderful gentlemen who genuinely want to get it right. They’re good-looking, successful, sweet and strong men. But they’re not impervious to the fear of being rejected or saying the wrong thing. While it’s their “job” to be the hunter and focus on a target and release the spear (fear seems more appropriate), do we have to make it so difficult for them? Hey Lady Gatherers! Be more compassionate when a guy tries to make small talk with you or approaches you at a bar or tries to make a funny. Chances are it took him a lot of courage to make a move. Appreciate that. Be sensitive to that. Indulge him if you’re interested. And if you’re not, say so in a nice way and with a smile. (Of course if he’s cray-cray and won’t leave you alone, all bets are off).
It’s difficult enough for both sexes to put themselves out there repeatedly so try to be kind and patient with each other. All everybody wants is to be loved and accepted.
a) stand there and roll our eyes at our girlfriends
b) encourage and receive him
c) politely refuse him or
d) bitch slap him with our frigid stare.
That’s a lot to endure if things don’t go well. Then they have to make all the moves in the beginning (if a woman lets him): initiate the phone calls (I mean ambiguous texts and ‘safe’ emails), set up the dates, choose the venue, keep things interesting, etc... I know that for the most part, men really enjoy being in the role of the pursuer. I guess I’m just extra sensitive to a man’s responsibility in approaching women because we’re working with some wonderful gentlemen who genuinely want to get it right. They’re good-looking, successful, sweet and strong men. But they’re not impervious to the fear of being rejected or saying the wrong thing. While it’s their “job” to be the hunter and focus on a target and release the spear (fear seems more appropriate), do we have to make it so difficult for them? Hey Lady Gatherers! Be more compassionate when a guy tries to make small talk with you or approaches you at a bar or tries to make a funny. Chances are it took him a lot of courage to make a move. Appreciate that. Be sensitive to that. Indulge him if you’re interested. And if you’re not, say so in a nice way and with a smile. (Of course if he’s cray-cray and won’t leave you alone, all bets are off).
It’s difficult enough for both sexes to put themselves out there repeatedly so try to be kind and patient with each other. All everybody wants is to be loved and accepted.
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