tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40505750179670147442024-02-20T06:59:10.964-05:00Dating DivaSeasoned Matchmaker Dishes on Drama-Free Dating.Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-53236316495060946582018-05-08T12:57:00.000-04:002018-05-08T12:57:36.762-04:00One Simple Way to Stand Out on a First Date<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We’ve recently started noticing that every time we ask a new client what they like to do for fun, their eyes glaze over. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nine out of ten of them cannot answer the question. Most of the time, they say ‘working out, hiking or spending time with friends’.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s fine. No judgement here but since we’re in the business of helping people shine and make a remarkable first impression as we introduce them to their match, it’s important to consider this:</span></div>
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<em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you’re not rocking your own world, how do you expect anyone worthy to want to be in it?</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We live in a culture where our self-worth is tied to our net worth and living a fulfilling life means being busy. But boring lives attract boring people. Having a variety of interests that go beyond work is super attractive. People want to be around interesting people who are engaged with the world and their own life. If you’re looking for a well-rounded, fun, engaging, attractive person with whom to build a life, start paying attention to how you’re living your own life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are four ways for you to stand out and show that you’re living a fun, interesting and engaging life:</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Have good stories ready</em>.</strong> If you want to show someone that you’re living an interesting life, have some good anecdotes ready to share. It’s more dynamic to show who you are through stories than statements. Another great way to be interesting is to ask interesting questions. Like ‘What’s your idea of paradise?’ or ‘What is the craziest thing you’ve experienced on a trip?’ or ‘What’s something surprising about you?’</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be around people who inspire you to live a cool life</em>.</strong> Jim Rohn said ‘You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with’. Are the people in your life interesting, positive, and adventurous who encourage you to explore life? Or are they judgmental, close-minded and somewhat limiting? The few who are closest to us have the greatest impact on our way of thinking, our self-esteem and our decisions. So take stock of the value that people add (or remove) in your life. It will greatly influence who you attract.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be true to what moves you</em>.</strong> Saying traveling (or anything else that you do infrequently) is your passion when you barely go on one trip a year for 10 days is a holiday not a passion. If you truly enjoy discovering new places and cultures, start planning more trips or at least research where you’d like to go so that you have something interesting to share. You owe it to yourself to discover what lights your fire. Why else are we here?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Pay attention to your everyday choices</em></strong>. The quality of your life is determined by the choices you make each day. Your lifestyle is about doing what you value <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">consistently.</em> It’s not about waiting for when you’re in a relationship to do cool things. That’s lazy and safe. Start small. Integrate one new or different experience every <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">month</em>. Strive to <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">thrive</em> in your life, not just survive and you will be a magnet for exciting, interesting people who do the same.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-19364975839354993012018-05-08T12:51:00.001-04:002018-05-08T12:51:20.983-04:00Men Dish about the Top 7 Things That Attract Them on a First Date<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They say men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While physical attraction is the first thing that gets them in the door, there are a few other ‘essentials’ that initially captivate men and keep them interested in moving forward with a woman they just met.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are seven qualities that consistently come up for our eligible bachelors (and guarantee them asking for a second date):</span></strong></span></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Fun</strong>. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">This is always #1</em>. A woman who is playful, has a decent sense of adventure and doesn’t take life too seriously is wildly attractive for a man. “She laughs easily and appreciates the little things in life” is a recurring statement.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Positive</strong>. Sometimes we hear “She was such a Debby Downer”. Everyone goes through challenging moments in their life where they need to vent but a first date with a stranger is not the place to unload in detail. “A woman who is happy with her life is wife material for me” said quite a few of the gentlemen in our portfolio.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Flexible</strong>. “The opposite of high-maintenance. My dream woman loves champagne but she’s also cool drinking a beer with me” declared our European client. Too many rules, a rigid mindset or saying “I hate ….” Or “I can’t stand …..” is a big turn-off for men.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Authentic</strong>. Being genuine comes up a lot. Poseurs, name-droppers, label-shamers and over-all superficiality were deal breakers. One gentleman was so turned off when one of the first things his date asked him was “What are you wearing?” (She worked in fashion, but still). Guys don’t care about whom you know either. They only care about how you make them feel during the date.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Kind</strong>. This golden quality goes a long way. Men pay attention. They observe how you speak with the wait staff, others around you, on a phone call, etc...If you’re nasty or dismissive with others but turn towards your date with a smile, he will take note. And eventually, take off. “I had a huge checklist before I met my wife. There was only one thing on that list I would never overlook: a genuinely kindhearted person” said Mark, one of our happily married (former) clients.</span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Smart.</strong> “Being intellectually stimulating and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics will always supersede shallow beauty in the long run” said one CEO of a huge technology firm. According to him, “it’s not about how smart she is or what she knows; it’s more about her curiosity about different topics and her desire to know more”.<br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Independent</strong>. Many men try to steer clear of women who they perceive as</em>“expecting me to go out of my way to entertain her or think of things to do”. They do not want to be a woman’s primary source of entertainment. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">This sentiment is consistent: “A woman with her own life is incredibly attractive”. Her own life means: her own career, her own set of friends, her own way of thinking and her own dreams.</em></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s interesting to note that men seem to be more charmed by how a woman is <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">being</em> than what she is doing.</span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-36387123960810951812018-05-08T12:48:00.000-04:002018-05-08T12:59:57.957-04:00Four Simple Skills in Dating You Need to Master Now<div class="itemBody" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dating is sheer torture for a lot of people.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And yet, there are some people who have had consistently good experiences and actually enjoy dating. How so? <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">With the right mindset</em>. These savvy singles have learned how to approach dating in a very specific way that guarantees they have a great date every time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here are four simple skills you can apply to your dating life to have a significantly better experience:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">1) Remember it’s more about choosing than being chosen. </strong>Successful daters are confident in their value and in presenting themselves authentically that they don’t worry about their date liking them but only about whether they like their date. This is wildly liberating and attractive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">2) Ask yourself this question. </strong>Going into a date wondering if the other person may be "The One" puts too much pressure on you, the experience and the other person. Go in with low expectations and instead of speculating if you’re about to meet your soul mate, ask yourself <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">“What can I learn from this person?”</em> Your feelings should stay on that question throughout the entire date. Curiosity is sexy. Tell yourself that all you want from the date is to know the person, hear their story and get their perspective on life. Perhaps you’ll make a life-long friend or valuable business contact or mentor . Or maybe you will never see them again. But with this mindset, <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">it doesn’t matter</em>. It's more about the opportunity to experience a new person and figure out what turns you on –and off—in a potential mate. Finding something interesting in everyone you meet is a choice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">3) Fire your monkey brain. </strong>Most people are in their head so much during a date that they are rarely present. How pointless. Dating should be a delicate dance of culling and sharing information; the only way to do that is to listen and be present. How can you fully experience a person if you’re constantly worried about what you’re saying, how you’re coming across or what you’ll say next? RELAX. Instead of focusing on how you <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">think</em> you should be, have the courage to be who you really are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">4) Nip the Negative Nancy’s in your life. </strong>There’s never a shortage of friends who love to commiserate with you on your / their nightmare dating stories or lack of available candidates. Don’t perpetuate the crazy. Words have power. If you speak too negatively about your love life for too long, you just may create your very own self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to surround yourself with positive people who are open-minded, encouraging and adventurous. Talk with your coupled friends who are supportive. Listen to their love stories. Say Yes to ALL set-ups and find the silver lining in each of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Norman Vincent Peale said “<u>Change your thoughts and you change your world”.</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your happy ending begins with the right attitude. So if you’re going to show up, you may as well shine!</span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-8887142580729809562018-02-10T14:06:00.001-05:002018-02-10T14:06:10.855-05:00The Best Places to Meet Worthwhile Singles in LA<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">(</strong>Happy Valentine’s Day!)<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> </strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being a matchmaker means knowing where to meet high-quality singles.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We need to be creative, discerning and efficient with time. Here’s a list of our tried-and-true places/activities where we have met some of the most eligible singles in Los Angeles:</span></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Cultural (networking) events</strong>. It doesn’t matter if you don’t really need to network for your business, <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">go to events</em>. Some business events solely focused on networking tend to be lame in terms of making solid work contacts, but these places always attract upscale, (mostly) single professionals. Some of our favorite events have been with these groups:</span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://ivyplussociety.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://ivyplussociety.com/</a> For Ivy-League (ish) professionals. Always a good mix of people; late 20s to late 40s.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://stageandtable.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://stageandtable.com</a> A couple of our clients recommended Stage + Table. I loved it. If you enjoy food and wine, this is a welcoming group (there were more men than women when I attended) to meet at a very relaxed venue.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://labusinessjournal.com/bizevents/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">http://labusinessjournal.com/bizevents/</a> - LA Business Journal has great events and speakers. Excellent for meeting upscale professionals of all ages.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://events.kcrw.com/events/category/kcrw-presents/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">http://events.kcrw.com/events/category/kcrw-presents/</a> - Eclectic events for eclectic people.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://hammer.ucla.edu/programs-events/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://hammer.ucla.edu/programs-events/</a> - Some of our male clients plan their first dates at these cool events!</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://guestofaguest.com/los-angeles" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">http://guestofaguest.com/los-angeles</a> - If you like ‘higher-end’, trendy happenings, get on this list.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.thesupperclubinc.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://www.thesupperclubinc.com/</a> The Supper Club is an old-school social network of talented, successful professionals (mid-30s-50s) who meet every month at hip, elegant venues.</span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Athletic leagues</strong>. Our clients swear by these. Did you know they have adult kickball leagues? This is a great way to stay in shape and meet others who want to have fun and meet other active-minded people. Volleyball clubs are very social. Hiking clubs tend to attract more women. Running/biking clubs attract more men. Explore! <a href="https://www.urbansportsla.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://www.urbansportsla.com/</a>; <a href="https://www.kickball.com/la" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://www.kickball.com/la</a></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Faith-based communities</strong>. Most people we meet are ‘more spiritual than religious’ so exploring ‘light-religion’ and spiritually-minded communities seems logical. Agape, a spiritual center and community is very welcoming and attracts a lot of single professionals. <a href="https://agapelive.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank">https://agapelive.com/</a></span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Curated experiences</strong>. Fill your own cup first with cool experiences to add to your repertoire and make your life more interesting. Say YES to all invitations! Even<em style="box-sizing: inherit;">FaceBook Events.</em> Check out <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Airbnb Experiences</em> and explore something new with other curious locals. Or create your own experience. Start a club or throw a cocktail party and encourage your friends to invite their friends.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Grocery stores after work</strong>. These places are teeming with singles from 6-8pm. We have met many eligible bachelors at Whole Foods on Lincoln J. Mondays nights are the best. Turn your green light ON and smile. Small talk is easy when it comes to food.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">(Honorable mentions</em>: Alumni Clubs, higher education classes, salsa/swing dancing classes, volunteering (<em style="box-sizing: inherit;">LA Works</em> is our favorite), Travel clubs and of course, dog parks).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most important aspect of putting yourself out there and engaging with the world is…<em style="box-sizing: inherit;">just that</em>. If you do these things for the sole purpose of trying to meet someone, you may be missing your opportunity. Taking a step out of your comfort zone to connect with other like-minded people is the first step towards finding your ‘One’.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-53658853300761701042018-02-10T14:02:00.002-05:002018-02-10T14:10:09.427-05:00Out with the Old! Seven Dating Patterns to Leave Behind in '17<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> As you invite in a new year full of possibilities, hope and romance, make sure to leave these negative dating patterns in the dust:</span></h4>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Focusing on what’s not working. </strong>What you focus on tends to show up in your life. If you keep thinking about your disappointment, struggle and the things that aren’t working for you, you will see more of that. If you keep focused on doing work you love, spending time with people you love, and engaging in activities you love, you will be in a much better place to invite romance into your life.</span></li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Knowing” in the first five minutes</strong>. One of the worst assumptions in dating is thinking that you know everything you need to know right away about the person. First dates are really just “meet-and-greets” where two people are breaking the ice, getting familiar with each other and trying to understand if there’s a connection. Suspend judgment and aim for a second date where much more will be revealed.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Comparing your RL to everybody’s SML</strong>. Real Life and Social Media Life are two different realities. The latter is the superficial highlights-only reel that tends to leave you feeling empty and envious. Take a break from it and see how the quality of your life improves as you stay more grounded and centered in your own life. If you have to document it, how much are you fully experiencing it?</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">. The need to be in control</strong>. Nobody is ever in control of anything. You cannot change the way things happen or how people behave; you can only change your reaction to them. The quality of your dating life will improve vastly when you let go of how things should be and just let them be how they are.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Making Assumptions</strong>. <span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">Don’t.</span> Until you have enough facts and consistent experience with someone, you’re in no position to make any assumptions about them. Just remember that people were leading busy lives before you met them…So if she doesn’t answer your text within 10 minutes, it does not mean she’s not interested. And, if he reaches out to you within 2-3 days after your first date, he really likes you.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">.</strong> <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Judging everyone against rigid expectations.</strong> It’s normal to go on a first date wanting the person to align with your expectations of what your <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">ideal partner</em>should look like. But the irony is that our "ideal" criteria tend to limit our perspective and keep us from actually being open to the people who are right in front of us. Sometimes subtle qualities like a kind heart, good listening skills, emotional availability or integrity can be overlooked but these are qualities that can nurture a long-term relationship.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Caring about what your dating life looks like to others</strong>. Being overly concerned about dating the <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">right people</em> (who look good on paper, on your arm, on your IG) is about placing your ego above your emotions. YOU are the one who needs to feel happy, safe, fulfilled and adored in your relationship so make sure you are following your heart when you choose your partner or you will pay a steep price</span></li>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-70922754184526300452018-02-10T13:58:00.003-05:002018-02-10T13:58:27.491-05:00Top 4 Dating Destroyers<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Ultimate Dating Destroyer</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The #1 thing that’s killing dating today is quick judgment.</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s normal and smart to be discerning but too much harsh, nitpicky judgment right away will severely limit your opportunities to meet and date a great person. Here are four qualities that reveal you may be a trigger-happy dater:</span></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re a One-Date Wonder</strong>. If you rarely make it to a second date, this is a huge indicator that you could be way too judgmental. Think about it. There’s always<em style="box-sizing: inherit;">something</em> that comes up for you. His hands, her energy, an off-handed comment, their clothing, the length of time it took to answer your text. Could the problem be you? Are your expectations too high? Are you trying to play it safe? You owe it to yourself to ask these questions.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re super rigid</strong>. When you make a decision about someone, you believe it wholeheartedly and no one can change your mind. Unless someone greatly insults you or your deepest beliefs, first dates should be where you simply collect information about the other person, stay open-minded and give them --and you-- a chance to experience each other in a different light on date #2.</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You always say “I can tell within seconds if there’s something there”.</strong> If you’re constantly shutting people down within seconds of meeting them (because you just <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">‘know’</em>), you are in great danger of missing out on someone amazing (and being single for a very long time). We have tons of success stories that began with neutral first dates. Our favorites: “He seems too perfect; I’m assuming he’s gay” (um, no!) or “We had an amazing first date but I just don’t feel the chemistry” (until he kissed you, you mean) or “He’s a great catch and I can totally see why you introduced him to me but I just…can’t put my finger on it” (we did; he was emotionally available and interested in you and that scared you).</span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You can’t help it, you always find the flaws</strong>. From the way they laugh to the way they dress or the way they walk, you can’t stop finding (and obsessing over) the flaws. What we see depends mainly on what we look for. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">Note</span></em>: Looking for perfection will leave you single forever.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Consider adhering to a <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">three date-rule</em> before you rule someone out because you could be letting go of a wonderful person simply because you caught them on a bad day. Three dates will give you a clear enough vision to feel if there’s enough intrigue or potential to continue seeing the person. Also, one of the best ways to stop being too judgmental is cultivating a natural sense of curiosity about the world and the people around you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s also a very attractive and intelligent trait that makes you irresistible in dating.</span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-4117097196802706462018-02-10T13:54:00.003-05:002018-02-10T14:10:40.975-05:004 Quick Tips on How to Stay Real on a First Date.<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Last night I met a potential new client. She was very new to dating, bubbly and high strung. I take care to make people feel comfortable right away so that they can be their most authentic self with me. It didn’t work this time. The woman was almost tripping over herself to impress me. I could tell that she was nervous and really wanted her to relax so I reiterated that I was not there to judge her, just listen and inspire her. She was still a tidal wave of bubbles, bells and whistles. Finally ten minutes before it was time to go (at the hour mark) she settled into herself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I couldn’t help but wonder if she were like this on a first date, would she make it to a second one?</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Authenticity means you allow yourself to “<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">be who you are</strong>”; that you don’t try to impress or present yourself as someone you are not, which is exhausting to do and to behold.</span></div>
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<em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Being real is the only way to foster a true connection with someone.</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here are a few tips to help you stay real on a first date:</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1em;">1. Mentally prepare.</strong><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1em;"> Think about what you’d like to share about yourself </span><em style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1em;">ahead of time</em><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 1em;">. What’s interesting about your life these days? Any cool trips you’ve been on? Books/films you’ve experienced? Funny stories? Being mentally prepared means you do not have to grasp at things to talk about which will put you at ease. It also means you decide on which topics you’d like to steer clear of.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">2. Location counts</strong>. Choose a comfortable, even familiar setting where you feel at ease. The more relaxed you feel, the more relaxed your date will feel. Dinner seems a bit much for most; a drink is ideal. Or a Saturday afternoon tea or hike. Just choose what makes you feel the most confident. Think low key. First dates should be brief and light. Everyone should leave wanting more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">3. Just Listen</strong>. The easiest way to be authentic and present is to get out of your head and pay full attention to your date. Everybody has a story so ask good questions. Shifting your focus onto them will take the pressure off of you and allow you to soften into a curious, interested role.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">4. Create a touchstone reminder. </strong>Whether you need to remember to be present, be feminine, ask more questions or not overshare, sometimes it’s helpful to have a concrete reminder. One of our clients bought herself a pretty ring that she wears on dates to remind herself to be more feminine; a male client wears a red string bracelet to remind himself to lead more. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself grounded and centered in who you are. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Because you are enough.</em></span></div>
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<span class="itemHits" style="box-sizing: inherit; float: left;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Read <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">545</b> times</span></span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-65039067631401241022018-02-10T13:52:00.002-05:002018-02-10T14:11:00.741-05:00<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
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<span style="font-size: 2.25rem;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dating online. You never know who’s real, right or worth your time.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The less control you have, the more control you need.</span></h4>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Having an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner is essential but holding on too tightly to that idea can be self-sabotaging.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Often we’ll sit down with new clients who give us their wish list of what they want in a partner. Women tend to focus on height, money, confidence and sense of humor while men focus on looks, age and key personality traits like ‘easygoing’ and ‘laughs easily’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Usually, the list is pretty long and specific. It always starts with “He should have…” or “She needs to be…” and they go on to explain all of the things they want in their partner.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But is what you want always what you <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">need?</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A great question we ask our clients who are a little caught up in their list is this:</span></div>
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<em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What are the five qualities you want in the mother / father of your children?</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Suddenly, this brings it all home. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Qualities like kindness, stability, loyalty and compassion start to emerge while superfluous traits start falling to the wayside. It doesn’t seem as important that she <span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">has to have</span> skinny ankles or fit into a certain age range. Or that he’s 6’2 with a full head of hair… If you want to create a happy home with someone, they need to be a trustworthy and good person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Looking at your partner through this lens will help you quickly sift through the Real Deals vs. the Fun-For-Now’s.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Fun-For-Now’s are exciting when they’re with you but they’re never consistently available and they leave you feeling just a bit insecure. It’s impossible to plan or build a future with them. But the Real Deals make you feel safe. They come over when your dog dies instead of texting you “Hey! Sorry about your dog”. They remember what you said two dates ago and book tickets to that one-woman show you’ve been dying to see. They show up for you. Over and over again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And if you’re not sure about having a family, just ask yourself what kind of <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">relationship</em>you want to have.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is it warm, supportive and stable or exciting, adventurous and spontaneous? Or both? Get to know yourself better so you can understand what makes you tick, thrive and feel safe. Pay attention to the person’s character and how they treat you. Someone who shows up for you is way more important than a few extra hair follicles or a couple of inches. Being with someone you trust that will always be there for you during life’s ups and downs is priceless.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-75910748592156516582017-09-19T14:05:00.002-04:002018-02-10T14:11:22.071-05:00Six Simple Dating Tips to Call in 'The One' This Fall<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
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<span style="color: #686868; font-size: 16px;">Fall has always been my favorite time of year with September being my lucky month when I met (and also married) my husband. Promising new romances tend to bloom after summer flings die. People seem more energized and focused to find their One this time of year. Here are six effective ways you can attract the right person into your life now:</span></div>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Get rid of the pressure</strong>. It’s so important to keep dating in perspective. When you go out on a first date, tell yourself you’re simply meeting someone new to see if you share anything in common or if you find them interesting enough to see again. It’s an hour of your life so you might as well get the most out of it and have fun. No connection? No problem. Next!</li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Stay visible</strong>. Change your routine, change your outcome. Don’t just Say Yes to everything; add something new and interesting to your life. Take a class, volunteer, create a social meet up group, organize monthly happy hours, or join a committee or sports team. Just do it <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">for fun</em>, not to tick something off your list. The spirit in which we do things is reflected in the quality of our experience.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Always put it out there</strong>. Turn your green light ON during every occasion. You never know when or where you will meet someone who interests you so don’t regret looking shabby over chic. Be prepared so that you will feel more confident when you <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">MAKE EYE CONTACT, SMILE </strong>and<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> ENGAGE</strong> with people. The only reason we’re in this life is to connect with others and be connected.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Fill your own cup first</strong>. Learn to be happy BEFORE you are in a relationship, rather than look for a relationship to make you happy. The moment you accept, value and love yourself, you start defining your own worth, instead of waiting for someone else to assign it to you. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">The kind of energy you project has everything to do with the kind of person you attract.</strong></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Refresh your online profile</strong>. If you’re not attracting the type of people that rock your world, take another look at your profile. Most people make the mistake of trying to appeal to the masses. Don’t. You’re not looking for just anyone, are you? Describe who you are and what you’re looking for <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">boldly, specifically and uniquely</em>. Only post 2-3 of your best pictures, <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">maximum.</em></li>
<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Do. Not. Play. Games. <span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">Ever.</span></strong> Let go of your ego and be direct and vulnerable. It’s the ONLY way to a) set yourself apart from the masses of insecure people b) attract like-minded people who value authenticity and are serious about being in a relationship and c) save valuable time. Those who are ‘in it to win it’ have no time for games.</li>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-43471328986823809452017-09-19T14:02:00.000-04:002017-09-19T14:02:00.756-04:005 Dating Mistakes Men and Women Make<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 24pt;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">The</span></strong><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> Biggest Mistake in Dating </strong></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 24pt;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">(Make Sure You’re Not Doing It!)</strong></span></div>
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We recently met with a gentleman who had worked with four matchmakers and met over 100 women in one year. Not random women; quality, vetted women who fit his criteria. But according to him, ‘nobody really excited’ him. He was highly accomplished and felt like he did not have to do much to attract a woman. He thought his resume’ and bank account could do all the talking and he would just wait to be blown away. Out of 100 women, only 11 were willing to go on a second date with him. Sadly, he’s wasted a lot of time and resources because he wasn’t willing to be honest with himself.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">The misalignment between expectation and reality is the #1 problem in dating today.</strong></div>
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<em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Here’s how to know if you need a reality check:</em></h4>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You keep going after the same type with the same disappointing results:</strong> ‘I can’t help it; I always go for (insert type)’. Actually, you <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">can</em> help it. History will keep repeating itself until you learn the lesson. So stop hoping that this time will be different. Instead, try going out with someone who’s not your type but still intrigues you a little. It will be refreshing and you may be happily surprised...</li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Your relationships never last longer than 3 months. </strong>Either you’re not choosing wisely, it’s always too much, too soon or someone is getting bored. It’s very telling if you’ve reached a certain age and have not had a significant relationship that’s lasted a year or longer. Usually, by the three-month mark, most true colors come out. There are people who are in love with love or the honeymoon stage of a relationship but the only way to understand if a relationship has what it takes is through time, honesty, vulnerability and a willingness to compromise.</li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You often say things like ‘There are no good men in LA’ or ‘All LA women are superficial’ or ‘All the good ones are taken’.</strong> None of which is true. It may make you feel better to say or think those things but you’re simply perpetuating those beliefs and you will, in fact, find evidence of exactly what you’re stating. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">What you dwell on determines your destiny</em>. Instead, look for the good in people and you will find it.</li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">It’s always their fault, never yours. </strong>If you keep finding yourself in the same predicament over and over, you need to start looking at yourself. YOU are the common denominator which means YOU need to change something. If you’re ready for a game-changer, read about adult attachment styles and how they can affect your relationship. (<a href="http://amzn.to/2lSXFXQ" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #222222; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love</em></a> by Amir Levine is a great place to start). Your dating life will never be the same.</li>
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<li style="box-sizing: inherit;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You rarely get second dates.</strong> This is a huge sign that you may not be aware of how you’re coming across. Enlist your friends’ help or an expert to determine how you can improve your first impression (conversational skills, appearance, communication style, etc.). Just a tiny shift in your approach can make all the difference.</li>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-89704801364692126052017-09-19T13:58:00.001-04:002018-02-10T14:11:48.573-05:00Cut through the BS and Start Dating like this!<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
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Dating is exhausting for most people. The high hopes, disappointments, effort, ‘rules’, white lies and currency (physical and emotional) it requires can be draining. But please don’t give up on yourself. Sometimes a simple shift in your perspective and approach will make all the difference.</h4>
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If you want to cut through the bull**** and have a more refreshing dating experience, <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">do this:</em></h4>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be transparent</strong>. The more clear you are about who you are and what you value, the more clarity you will get back in your personal experiences. Always. Being honest from the start will pave way for a more authentic relationship. Transparency breeds trust, the foundation of every relationship. You will immediately weed out the amateurs or players and take dating to a new level.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be cool</strong>. Being easygoing and flexible is very attractive. The first few dates should continue to be light, fun and intriguing with a few more layers being revealed each time. We had a couple who hit it off on their first date but nearly ended it on their second. The woman had high expectations in terms of the quality of the date. She wanted to be picked up, expected the restaurant and film to be pre-selected and well thought out. The gentleman, however, was feeling spontaneous; he happily picked her up but thought it would be fun to decide on things together and see where the evening took them. She interpreted his not being prepared as not caring or being invested. He interpreted her expectations (and ribbing) as high maintenance and thought a second date should just be about getting to know each other better. Both were right; both lost in the end. He did not want a third date with her.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Don’t play games</strong>. If you want a grown up relationship, stop playing games. Buck the rules. Make your own. If you like her, ask her out right away. If you like him, don’t wait to text him back. The more adept you are at ‘being real’, the quicker your relationship will take off. And don’t listen to the peanut gallery around you. Even though your friends seem to ‘have your back’ they are all bringing their own experiences (some negative) to the table when giving you advice. Follow your heart. Only YOU know what you’re truly feeling when you’re with your person. Trust that.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be kind</strong>. Remember that people are doing the best they can. You do not know what kind of day, month or year someone is having. So don’t be quick to judge; be quick to show kindness. This should be the #1 quality you look for in a mate. Sharing your life with a kind person is like winning the lottery every day.</div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-75634579378640475272017-09-19T13:56:00.002-04:002017-09-19T13:56:14.142-04:00Six Simple Ways to be Confident on a First Date<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Here are six tried-and-true tips to have confidence on your date and get through it with ease, fun and grace:</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">1.</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">Make it your mission to have fun <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">no matter what</i></b>. This should be your #1 goal. Levity and laughter are irresistibly attractive. Hopefully, you’ve done a little recon on the front end to know if there’s enough of an initial connection with the person you’re about to meet so you’re more relaxed and positive.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">2.</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be Prepared</b>. Have a handful of interesting questions ready. The best ones are those that give insight into someone’s personality. Try these: </span><a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2000/01/proust-questionnaire" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #222222; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" target="_blank"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2000/01/proust-questionnaire</span></a><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> and be prepared to answer them as well. And it never fails to ask them to talk about something they love.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">3</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">Tell yourself that you’re just meeting your best friend’s brother/sister</b> who are visiting LA for the first time. Low expectations and zero romantic pressure create an authentic level of connection and playfulness. Lower the stakes. Actually, there are NO stakes – you are just showing up, being friendly and there to have a good time. (Our clients swear by this method!).</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">4.</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">Don’t make it a first date</b>. Choose an experience or situation where you feel the most confident or relaxed. The key is to roll your date into a plan you were going to do anyway so that it feels more organic and less pressure-filled. For example, instead of meeting for drinks or dinner, bring your date to the art opening you need to attend. Invite him/her to ride bikes on the beach with you. The purpose of a first date is not to see if you can check all the boxes; it’s to check how you<i style="box-sizing: inherit;">feel </i>in the presence of the person.</span></div>
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<b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">5. Stop caring so much about what your date thinks of you</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. Everyone wants to make a good first impression but if you’re paralyzed by the fear of how you’re coming across, you’re essentially conveying this message “I am seeking your approval. I don’t already know that I’m a great catch so I need you to validate that I’m worthy of you” <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">Total turn-off.</i></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The best way to shift that mindset is to start asking yourself “I wonder if this person has what it takes to make <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">me</i> happy?”</span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"></span></b></div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">6. Make plans for immediately after<span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; box-sizing: inherit; padding: 0cm;"></span><em style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="border: 1pt none; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; padding: 0cm;"></span></em> <span style="border: 1pt none; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; padding: 0cm;"></span><span style="border: 1pt none; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; padding: 0cm;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">t</strong>he date</span></strong><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">. This sets a time limit and less pressure on you if things aren’t going so well. It’s easier to go on a date knowing that no matter what, at x’ o clock, you have to leave and go do something else. (If the date’s going really well, even better; leave them wanting more and you’ll have a lot to look forward to on the next date).</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-40705972254720094492017-03-21T15:16:00.004-04:002017-03-21T15:16:45.070-04:00To Have a Great First Date, Do THIS and THIS<div class="itemBody" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dating doesn’t have to be an arduous chore. Having to ‘turn it on’ for a stranger for the hundredth time and tempering hopeful expectations can run its toll on a person.</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s exhausting, energetically consuming and often disappointing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine if each time you met someone new, it turned into a cool adventure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">Here are two things you can do on a first date to ensure that you have a meaningful experience and a fun time no matter what: </span></h4>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, think outside of the box when you plan your first date.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead of playing it safe with perfunctory ‘drinks’, why not think about doing something that you genuinely like to do – something that you would do for yourself anyway on the weekend or even on a week night? Dying to see the Cindy Sherman exhibit at the Broad? Invite him to go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you always get a hike in on the weekends? Make that your first date. Dreaming of going paddle boarding in the Marina with someone? Do it. Does a bike ride relax you? Suggest that for a first date. By planning an activity that you love or something that you’ve been meaning to explore, you are not only showing your date that you’re creative and thoughtful but you’re essentially ‘folding’ them into the rhythm of your life which makes you look more interesting AND if things don’t click with your date, you’ve still managed to do something you were planning on doing anyway. Less pressure, more fun. Win-Win! </span></div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Second, let go and let your genuine side show.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s normal to have your guard up when you meet someone new for the first time. Everybody wears armor in the dating world. But if you want to have a more appealing experience, choose real over superficial. Feeling nervous? Say so. Do you take time to warm up? Admit it. Are you bad at first dates? Confess! Own your story upfront so you can create room for more authentic sharing. Being honest and real is disarming. Ask your date interesting questions that reveal their character (instead of straight up interview questions) like….What’s your most treasured memory? What’s your biggest accomplishment so far? What surprising quality do you possess? What do you value most in life? Or ask them to sum up their life on a bumper sticker. Keep it entertaining, creative and sincere.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vow to connect on a deeper level with your dates and notice the quality of your experience become more fulfilling every time.</span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-74704545733875937852017-03-21T15:13:00.001-04:002017-03-21T15:13:48.649-04:00Four Things You Can Do To Have an Edge in Dating Now<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span class="itemImage" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 8px; text-align: center;"><a data-k2-modal="image" href="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/58fbd8eea8a0a9c83a231534e6edc699_XL.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; box-sizing: inherit; color: #222222; text-decoration: none;" title="Click to preview image"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="Four Things You Can Do to Have an Edge in Dating Now" src="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/58fbd8eea8a0a9c83a231534e6edc699_L.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; display: inline-block; height: auto; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle; width: 600px;" /></span></a></span><div class="clr" style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: none; box-sizing: inherit; clear: both; float: none; height: 0px; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: 1.75rem;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It starts with Go. The. Extra. Mile. Here are four simple truths in dating that will immediately change your experience for the better:</span></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">1.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Looks matter</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">. If you’re the type of person who says ‘this is me, take it or leave it’, we’re talking directly to you. That’s just lazy and rigid. Just because your friends are sporting a certain look (long hair / beards / love handles / oversized shirts) doesn’t mean it looks good on you. Change it up once in awhile (now). There’s always room for improvement. </span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"></span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">As shallow as it seems, you are being judged. There’s fierce competition out there so bring you’re ‘A’ game so that YOU feel more confident, which is the best look anyway.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">2.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Being prepared is half the victory</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">. We keep meeting singles who are completely unprepared for dating. They’re not sure what they want in a partner, or they’re unaware of the ‘rules’ of dating or how to be interesting on a date or show that they’re interested, etc... </span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"></span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Think about what you’d like someone to know about you (what are five things / experiences that define who you are?) and figure out how you’re coming across (Needy or confident? Aloof or warm? Professional or relaxed?) and modify your behavior, if needed.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Have some great questions to ask. Being a good conversationalist is so attractive.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">3.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Manage your mind, manage your love life</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">. A lot of singles have the wrong mindset when it comes to dating. There are lazy daters, bitter daters, non-daters, needy daters, over-the-top-daters, etc…Most people just want to get it over with, few actually enjoy the process. The definition of adventure is ‘participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises’.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Approach your dates with a spirit of adventure and you will shift the energy immediately. Temper your expectations and vow to have a good time and find a point of connection with your date.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">We tend to find what we look for; so look for the good.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"></span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">4. </span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Live an interesting life</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">. </span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"></span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Most people cannot answer the question:</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">“what’s interesting about your life?” Working hard at your career and making money does not make an interesting life. One or two trips a year doesn’t cut it either. The small choices you make in your daily life determine the overall quality of your life. You can tell immediately who has fun, passion and play in their life and who doesn’t.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Learning new perspectives, saying yes to new experiences, connecting with more people, asking questions and keeping your eyes, ears and heart open paves the way for a more interesting life. How can you build more meaning in your life?</span></span></span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-56739896916933845182017-03-21T15:09:00.001-04:002017-09-19T14:22:31.698-04:00Top 8 Reasons Why You’re Not Getting A Second Date<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: 1.75rem;">Dating is tricky. You show up, try to connect, share a little and say goodbye. Then what?!</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You just spent two hours with a stranger and have no idea what will happen next. If you want to tilt the odds in your favor and get a second date, avoid these eight common mistakes:</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">1. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">You talk too much and don’t ask questions.</b> Successful men are often accused of doing this. If you’re talking the entire time, there’s no room to build a connection. The point of a date is to exchange information and share. Show your interest by asking questions. Even if you’re neutral about your date, it’s still an essential conversational skill to have and you may be surprised by what you learn from the other person.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">2. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">You come across as awkward and uncomfortable</b>. If you’re not great at first dates, practice the art of conversation with close friends first. And be honest. It’s very disarming (and charming) when someone starts a date with “Bear with me, I’m horrible at this” or “Give me a few minutes to find my mojo.” A sense of humor goes a long way.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">3. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re not fun</b>. Ouch! Well, <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">are you?</i> Fun means you laugh easily; you’re light-hearted and don’t take things so seriously. It means you’re engaging and have interesting stories. You’re flexible, spontaneous and playful. Fun is sexy.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">4. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">There’s too much, too soon</b>. First dates should last 1-2 hours max. You should leave when the energy is high. People feel like they have to know everything about the other person all at once. What’s the beauty in that? Build a little anticipation of what’s to come.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">5. </span><b style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You come across as rude or high maintenance</span></b><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">. People forget that they’re complete strangers when they’re on a date and that they’re being observed in a hundred different ways. How you treat other people around you is quite significant and telling, including the hostess/ waiter/ bartender/valet. Even how you order your food is being noted. Men always comment on these things.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">6. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">There’s no real connection</b>. Having no chemistry means that you’re just not attracted to the person; but having no connection could simply mean that you didn’t ask the right questions. Tapping into somebody’s emotional center breeds a certain closeness. Starting with just-the-facts is fine but you should gradually pose a few interesting questions that will reveal more about your date, like<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; box-sizing: inherit;"> “What do you like most about yourself?” Or “Name three things you can’t live without” or “What’s your idea of a perfect day?”</span></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">7. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">You try too hard and it shows</b>. If you’re constantly asking yourself “Does he/she like me?” your date will be over before it even began. This need for validation is <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">a huge turn-off.</i> Try to focus your intention ONLY on enjoying yourself, enjoying your date and having a fun time.</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;"></span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">8. <b style="box-sizing: inherit;">You have no idea how to close</b>. (For men) The date is about to end, you get nervous and act like a goober. Take the lead and let her know that you’re interested in her. If you want to take the pressure off to make something happen at the end, try to let her know <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">during</i> the date (when you have good momentum) that you’re enjoying her and “we should do this again…” Or end with “I had a great time and would love to see you again. Could I call you this week to set something up?” Then do it.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-72622943597621825912017-03-21T15:05:00.001-04:002017-03-21T15:05:23.528-04:00The BEST Eight Ways to Meet the Love of your Life This Year<div class="itemHeader" style="box-sizing: inherit;">
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The Best Eight Ways To Meet The Love of Your Life This Year</h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another year has gone by and you still have not met your ‘person’. You’ve either not made dating a priority or you’ve chosen the wrong people or you have no idea how to attract the right ones. Whatever the challenge, you owe it to yourself to do something different.</span></span></h3>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here are 8 things you can do to tilt the odds in your favor to meet your mate in the new year:</span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Upgrade your appearance.</strong> Choose one thing to modify or improve. It could be something as simple as a new hairstyle, growing a beard or hiring a trainer; or even changing your entire wardrobe, getting a shot of botox or whitening your teeth. Do whatever it takes to get that extra spring in your step. Confidence is sexy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Be loud and clear about your intentions.</strong> Tell everyone (friends, family, colleagues, the Starbucks barista) that you’re single and would like to meet someone. Ask them if they know anyone. They may not have access to your soul mate (or they may!) but it will get you out there and help you understand what you want or don’t want.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> Throw a dinner party where everyone has to bring a single friend. </strong> It works best when nobody knows the person (as if you’re introducing a ‘new recipe’ that everyone is curious about). New connections will expand your social network and increase your chances of meeting someone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Respect the Rule of Three.</strong> Most singles have a long list of what they want in a mate; few know what they really need. Streamline your list and whittle it down to the top three qualities that you need to thrive in your ideal relationship. What do you truly need to go the distance?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Accept that compatibility is overrated.</strong> John Gottman (founder of The Gottman Institute) says “how a couple interacts is the single, most fundamental aspect to creating a successful relationship. It’s not who you are or what you do that will help you find the perfect mate. It’s how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together”. In other words, YOU create compatibility so stop looking for it right away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Reset your expectations.</strong> Most matchmakers will admit that their toughest clients are the ones with unrealistic expectations. If you keep running into the same patterns, it has everything to do with you. Are you choosing to be with people who are ready and capable of building a relationship with you? It’s pretty easy to figure out. People always show you who they are in due time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7.<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> Live the life you want to live NOW.</strong> Too often singles talk about all the fun things they would do with their life if they were in a relationship. Don’t wait to build an interesting life. If you’re not out there having fun, being active, cultivating your social life or indulging in your passions, the chances of you meeting someone is low. If you don’t’ think you’re worth it, why would anybody else?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> Hire a professional. </strong> You’re busy building or running a company. You don’t have time to date or you’ve tried online dating and it’s been a nightmare. You’re ready to meet The One but have no time or energy to commit to the process. Consider hiring a matchmaker. Their (our) job is to make dating easier for you and find you what you’re looking for by selecting the best from all of the rest in a confident, elegant manner.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here’s to a supreme ’17! The best is yet to come….</span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-44444657914403765962017-03-21T14:59:00.001-04:002017-03-21T14:59:30.155-04:00Don't Waste Your Best Asset in Dating<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: #686868; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
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Don’t Waste Your Best Asset in Dating</h2>
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<span class="itemImage" style="box-sizing: inherit; display: block; margin: 0px 0px 8px; text-align: center;"><a data-k2-modal="image" href="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/7039668d722ecb7c8876eb426d3a8533_XL.jpg" style="background: transparent; box-sizing: inherit; color: #222222; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s;" title="Click to preview image"><img alt="Don’t Waste Your Best Asset in Dating" src="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/7039668d722ecb7c8876eb426d3a8533_L.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; display: inline-block; height: auto; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle; width: 600px;" /></a></span><div class="clr" style="border: none; box-sizing: inherit; clear: both; float: none; height: 0px; line-height: 0; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">The holidays are a wonderful time of year to reflect on and be thankful for our relationships.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">It can also be a time to contemplate what may be missing from them. As we quickly approach a new year, there’s no better time to decide on what you want moving forward. Since time is our most precious asset in dating, it’s important to consistently ‘clean out the closet’ (aka rid ourselves of unhealthy people, relationships and attitudes) to make room for something spectacular.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">Right before I met my husband, I had an aha-moment. A girlfriend of mine asked me a question that ultimately changed my life: <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">where are your exes now?</i> As I started to think about my past relationships and where they were in their lives, I was nearly mortified to realize that <span style="box-sizing: inherit; text-decoration: underline;">not one</span> of them were married. At the time, I was a ripe 35 year-old and some of my exes were already in their forties. Two things dawned on me. Either I was not dating the ‘marrying type’ OR I was just not interested in settling down. After much deep reflection on what attracted me to my old boyfriends, I realized that I was choosing ‘rollercoaster love’ over solid, mature love. Qualities like fun, spontaneity, charm and adventure were more important to me than emotional maturity, kindness, stability and integrity. I just wanted to hop on the rollercoaster and see where it took me. Carpe Diem! was my go-to phrase. When I finally got clear and understood that I really did want to find my husband and build a strong, healthy relationship, the universe tested me. I had just started dating a musician. In my heart, I knew that the music would always be ‘the other woman’ and there was little chance of building a solid relationship together. So I left. With no prospects in sight, I held onto the belief that I would eventually find someone who adored me, could laugh with me, charm me <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">and</i> build a beautiful life together. And five months later, I did.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">I share this story to encourage you to pay attention to your choices. We all have a long list of ‘wants’ but few of us really know what we need. Sometimes we need to stop, get off the roller coaster and really dig deep to make sure that our relationships are giving us what we truly need. Always look for qualities that endure the test of time and challenges.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 18.4px;">If you really want a healthy, long-lasting relationship, choose someone with whom you can build something solid together, who respects, supports and adores you and above all, has integrity. Or else you may find that once the ride stops, you’re left with wind-blown hair, a fun experience and little else.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-7697280270986868332017-03-21T14:55:00.002-04:002017-03-21T14:55:35.813-04:00Always Stuck in the Friend Zone?<div class="itemBody" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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Always Stuck in the Friend Zone?</h2>
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(Here Are Three Ways to Make Sure You’re Not Anymore)</div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">It happens. A lot. You go on a few dates with someone. Things seem to be going well. You enjoy each other’s company. Slowly but surely, you start getting hopeful: could this be <i style="box-sizing: inherit;">The One?</i> Your confidence starts to build and…. BAM! You get the call (or text / email</span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Wingdings;"></span><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">) that blows it all apart:</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">“You’re such a great person; I really like you …I just feel more of a friendship growing…” </span></h4>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Ouch! What happened?</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Of course, you cannot make someone feel “IT” for you but there are certain things you can do to try to stay out of the Friend Zone. Start with these three:</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">First. Stop</strong> “hanging out”. Keeping it too casual and friendly will almost always guarantee that things stay in the friend zone. Men need to plan romantic dates or at least dates where she can dress up and feel feminine like she’s being courted. This does not have to be elaborate or fancy; even just a quiet, charming wine bar sets the tone. And Ladies, let him run the show. At least in the beginning. If he asks you what you want to do, don’t fall for it. Be demure and say “I’m in your hands” or something that conveys you’re up for whatever he chooses. No, it’s not playing games; it’s encouraging men to lead and engage in their masculine power so that women can trust and receive so that her femininity shines through.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Second.</strong> Even though you feel a great initial connection, try not to get too comfortable with sharing your shortcomings too soon. This means keep your financial challenges, crazy exes, family issues, job instability, former substance abuse, etc... on the down low. Getting to know someone takes time and since we all have a chapter (or two) that doesn’t need to be read aloud, keep bringing your best as you build a real foundation (that can weather the future storms).</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Third. </strong>Don’t be afraid to lean in a little, literally and figuratively. In our culture, people are extremely careful about being appropriate and not too forward. Dating is the best time to flirt and seduce with your personality, body language, playful teasing and sensuality. Being too PC is not sexy. Being too much of a gentleman will relegate you to the friend zone. Being too ‘perfect’ with that mask tightly fastened does not promote intimacy. Be respectful of course, but beware of playing it too safe (or slow) or else your date will be wondering if you’re interested in romance or if it’s just a friendship. </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Being confident in your masculinity and embracing your womanhood is the first step to igniting the flame of romance. Keeping the flame ablaze is a little like dancing the tango.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; box-sizing: inherit;">It’s about power and vulnerability. Speeding up, slowing down, and taking a pause.</span></span></h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-7757650457857365292016-09-12T17:20:00.001-04:002016-09-12T17:23:17.735-04:00Ten Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship<div class="itemHeader" style="box-sizing: inherit;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re not willing to drive across town to meet someone for a drink.</strong> That’s lazy dating! Nobody enjoys LA traffic but if your initial reaction is resistance and wanting only to meet someone in your zip code, it’s evident that you are not in the right mindset for a relationship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Your idea of communicating</strong> with someone whom you’ve just started seeing is constant texting and checking in but not making yourself available to see them. Big red flag when someone calls you and you text back instead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;"> There’s a chip on your shoulder</strong> and you can be heard saying “all men / women are….…” If you’re using unsavory adjectives to describe the opposite sex, you’re on the road to becoming bitter and it will be apparent to whomever you meet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re always waiting for something better to come along.</strong> Thanks to online dating, singles know there’s always an abundance of people from which to choose. But if you’re worried that you’re missing out on the quantity of what’s available, you may never be in the right mindset to recognize when you have a quality person in front of you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You keep finding yourself with the same (disappointing) type of person.</strong> Allowing yourself to get involved in ambiguous and confusing relationships means you’re not clear on what your standards are and the value and worth of commitment. Change your approach, change your results.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Your green light is off.</strong> Most singles who want to meet someone are completely unapproachable. They give zero signals that convey they’re open and available. There are a lot of opportunities for you to be more connected with the world around you. Hide your phone, make eye contact and smile, for starters.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Your job is your lover.</strong> This is a conscious choice. “I work a lot now because there’s nobody special in my life” is a safe excuse but the wrong approach. Carve out time for social activities, creating fun and getting out of your comfort zone (work). You have to be in it to win it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Your Must-Haves are longer than your Like-Haves. </strong> Rigidity will dampen all chances of meeting someone special and leaves no room for you to be blown away by someone who’s not your ideal type. Unless you’re George or Gisele, get real with your expectations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">9. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re unprepared.</strong> You approach dating in a half-a** way, getting half-a** results. Being clear on what you’re looking for and how you’re coming across is important. An open, fun attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">10. <strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">You’re constantly traveling for work</strong> and have no time to actually build a relationship with someone. Sure it’s your job and you have “no choice” – keep telling yourself that. You get to choose how to spend your time on this earth and that includes the type of career you have.</span></div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-3781586970238146472016-09-12T17:16:00.001-04:002016-09-12T17:24:43.009-04:00Are You Guilty Of Being A Distracted Dater?<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: muli, Helvetica, Tahoma, Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">
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People are running so fast these days; overwhelmed is the new state of mind. Most of us live inside our heads instead of in the moment.</h4>
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Living our lives online instead of offline is normal (and sad). Everyone is too preoccupied with their stuff to notice what’s happening right in front of them.<br />
Being a ‘distracted dater’ is such a waste of time.</div>
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There’s a new-ish dating culture we dubbed “Generation Next”. Nobody wants to miss out on the next best thing – the taller, thinner, better, brighter, hotter version of whomever is sitting in front of them. Next! Online daters are getting a false sense of power—it’s so easy to pass on someone’s profile -- and time. Singles spend so much time texting and emailing strangers while pretending to get to know them as they simultaneously continue meeting more (better?) strangers online that they text and email… Suddenly because their plate (inbox) is full, they feel like their dating life is overwhelming when in fact, they have not actually MET A SINGLE PERSON.</div>
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We come across a lot of singles who hold on tight to their ‘ideal partner’ which actually serves to keep them safe and away from real relationships because their standards are completely unattainable. It’s not to say he / she isn’t out there, it just becomes a very limiting, disappointing and time-consuming experience while they’re waiting.</div>
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Having choices is great and not wanting to settle is normal but a ‘keep ‘em coming’ mentality will leave you exhausted and distracted.</h4>
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People often say “it’s a numbers game”. We disagree. It’s not about the quantity of people you meet, it’s about the quality. Unless you need a ton of dating experience to understand what you want and don’t want, the truth is, it just takes one.</div>
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The million dollar question is: how good are you at quieting the meaningless noise around you and recognizing when you have someone special in front of you?</div>
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Being in the right dating mindset means being available and interested (and interesting!). It means looking for connection instead of rejection or appreciation for who the person is instead of expectation of who you want them to be.</div>
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If you can’t slow things down enough to be present in your love life, you’re not ready to date.</div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-64651662872502165692016-09-12T17:12:00.000-04:002016-09-12T17:25:03.169-04:00Can’t meet anyone because you’re “super picky”? Don’t worry, you won’t.<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; font-family: muli, helvetica, tahoma, geneva, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 8px 0px;">
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In our business, we meet many new clients who proudly begin with: “I’m suuuuuper picky” as a badge that explains why they’re single. In their mind it means that they have high standards and aren’t willing to settle but in reality, they most likely have unrealistic expectations that are rooted in fear and insecurity. They may think it’s about quality control, but ultimately it’s about control – and not losing it.</div>
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Romantic relationships require vulnerability. That’s scary for most people. Nobody wants to get hurt but there’s no guarantee that you won’t be. Constantly looking for or “picking” at their prospective date’s flaws is a perfect strategy to keep people away and keep them “safe” from the emotional exposure a relationship brings. The irony is that super picky people are secretly fearful of being judged for their own shortcomings or weaknesses. Oftentimes, our “proud and picky” clients will start the conversation with “So my type is …” In which we gently remind them that their type has clearly not been working for them since they’ve hired us. Our goal is to encourage them to pay attention to what qualities they’re placing a high value on and what important qualities they may be overlooking.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">Here are three things super picky people can do to let go of their limiting beliefs and start giving more people a chance:</strong></h4>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">1. Look for the good</strong>. Focus on what you like about someone and commit to being open and curious about who they are. There’s a reason why we encourage 2-3 dates before a client makes up their mind. Sometimes it takes more time for an amazing connection to emerge. Shallow qualities have an expiration date so make sure you’re not holding on too tightly to your ‘ideal’ so that you leave room for someone else to come in and knock your socks off.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">2. Get brutally honest with yourself.</strong> Often, extremely picky people have been deeply hurt by a past relationship. Or they’re carrying insecurities from their childhood or high school or from a highly critical parent. Dig deep and be loving with yourself. Everyone has experienced rejection. It’s a human condition. You are not alone. But you will be if you keep yourself so protected and closed off to the possibilities.</div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: inherit;">3. Enlist your close friends.</strong> Let them know that you’re working on being more open minded and less quick on the draw to say “NEXT!” so that they can support you and call you out if need be. Having people you trust who keep you accountable will help you notice your patterns and hopefully shift them.</div>
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There’s nothing wrong with having high standards, just make sure you’re not hiding behind inaccessible expectations that keep you isolated from what you really want.</h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-58145419547879996042016-05-27T14:32:00.004-04:002016-09-12T17:25:42.954-04:00Three Things NOT To Do After A Good First Date<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: merriweather, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px;">
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Matchmaking is incredibly rewarding. To hear “you’re so good at what you do” or read a text that says “Bulls eye!” or simply “!!!” right after a first date gives us goose bumps.</h4>
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Even though we’re very thoughtful and thorough when we introduce people to each other, there’s really no telling if both people will feel a spark. It’s completely elusive…and intoxicating. So when it does happen, people are really excited to see the other person again and they sometimes forget a few basic nuances.</div>
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<strong>Here are three ways singles can get tripped up after a good first date:</strong></h4>
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<strong>Having unfair expectations.</strong><br />
Most people lead very busy lives. This doesn’t change after they meet you. Even if there’s serious chemistry, they still have responsibilities, deadlines, friends, family, booked vacations, etc., that need to be looked after. People tend to make snap judgments though. We’ve heard: “It will be another two weeks before she can meet me for a second date; she must not be serious about dating”. Or “I left her a voicemail and she texted me back. She must not be interested”. Or (after a ‘home run’ first date) “she’s leaving for vacation for a few weeks; what’s the point of a second date when I won’t see her for awhile?”</div>
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These judgments are made after spending a nice 2 – 3 hours with a stranger.</div>
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If there’s a spark, you’re halfway there. Give someone the benefit of the doubt and try not to take things so personally. Just because timing is initially a challenge doesn’t mean that someone is not interested or playing games. They. Had. A. Life. Before. You.</div>
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<strong>Forgetting to Feel More and Think Less.</strong><br />
Approaching first dates with a sense of adventure is tantamount to having an interesting, engaging experience. There’s a lot of over thinking and over judging, too. Unfortunately, first dates (or relationships for that matter) do not come with guarantees. Decide NOT to decide if you want to have a relationship with the person and just connect, have fun and try to reserve judgment (everyone is flawed). And if you’re unsure, explore. The core of dating is wrapped in discovery and understanding what you feel when you’re with the person.</div>
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<strong>Overlooking their date’s sense of timing.</strong><br />
Sometimes the spark can be slow to show for one person while the other person feels more immediately. Usually this creates a bit of neutrality in the person who’s not sure which means they’re not chomping at the bit for a second date BUT have committed to one to see if things can grow. This does not mean they’re disinterested, it simply means they need more time to understand their feelings which they’re open to exploring. (A very healthy dating approach). Be tenacious! We’ve facilitated and encouraged many “neutral” first dates that have turned into beautiful, successful, long-term relationships. </div>
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Chemistry doesn’t always hit at the same time.</div>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-60191688536502221272016-05-27T14:28:00.000-04:002016-09-12T17:26:02.320-04:00Why Dating Like You Travel Will Be A Game Changer<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: merriweather, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px;">
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We work with so many single professional clients who travel a lot for their career or pleasure.</h4>
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They all typically remark about how often they meet interesting singles while traveling either at the airport, hotel bars or on holiday. They always seem perplexed as to why this happens. “How come it’s easier for me to meet someone when I’m traveling than in my own backyard?” they ask. Simple. You’re not “you”. Let me clarify; you’re a different you. A lighter, less stressed, more engaging and connected you. A better version of you. A “you” that is interested and interesting.</div>
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If you could date like you travel, you would not only have more fun but you would attract more people to you. Being fun and having fun makes you more attractive. Being more attractive makes you a magnet. Being a magnet means you’re killing it with the opposite sex. Which means you have a lot of choices.</div>
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Apply these four “date like you travel” principles on your next date and you will feel a remarkable difference in your experience:</h4>
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1. When you first arrive in a new place, you automatically feel more <strong>enchanted, open </strong>and <strong>aware</strong> of your surroundings. Your curiosity grows and shows. Your “<strong>green light</strong>” is beaming. These are all qualities that make you extremely attractive in the dating world.</div>
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2. It’s natural to have a <strong>strong desire to engage</strong> when you travel to a new place. You want to learn about the country’s people, their culture, history, etc.. A deep need to connect is an essential ingredient in dating.</div>
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3. You <strong>reserve judgment</strong>. Hopefully when you travel, you don’t expect the same experience that you’re used to in your own country. The joy of traveling is experiencing a new perspective that you embrace wholeheartedly. Same with dating. Each potential date is like new terrain to discover with an open mind. Be willing to really see who the person is and don’t expect perfection.</div>
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4. <strong>You are not attached to the outcome.</strong> When you travel for pleasure, you have no expectations. You’re not doing it for any reason other than exploring something different, expanding your horizons, getting out of your comfort zone and experiencing new pleasures. You have no agenda other than to enjoy your precious time moment to moment. That is the only way you should be approaching your dating experience. Like a meaningful adventure, not a means to an end.</div>
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As Henry Miller said: “One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.”</h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-16576272131876625572016-05-27T14:25:00.000-04:002016-09-12T17:26:19.783-04:00Seven First Date Mistakes Men Can Avoid<div class="itemHeader" style="background-color: white; color: #383838; font-family: merriweather, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px;">
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<span style="font-family: merriweather, verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px;">We respect single men so much. Especially for having to keep up with today’s mystifying mating mores. Men have to do all of the heavy lifting -- approaching, attracting, courting, organizing, maintaining -- in the beginning. (Perhaps it’s better to say they should be doing these things).</span></h2>
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Here are a few things men should not be doing when they’re going out on those first few dates:</h4>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>1. Looking shabby.</strong> </span>Apparently this means different things to different people so we’ll spell it out: look like you made an effort. Women notice your shoes, (un)ironed shirt, hair style, hands, etc. It’s cool to want to make an excellent first impression wherever you go. Women love a man who’s “put together” and well groomed.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>2. Being too nice.</strong></span> Being nice is a lovely quality. Only being nice doesn’t make a woman fall for you. Women like a challenge just as men do. So don’t just be nice, be other things, too. Confident, funny, intelligent, spirited, principled, charming and interesting go a long way.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>3. Lacking confidence.</strong></span> Masculine energy is all about strength, purpose and having a mission in life. Feminine energy is about being open, soft and receptive. Confidence can override height, economic stature and educational status. A woman will choose an average-looking man with a high confidence level over an above average-looking guy who’s insecure. The more confidence you exude, the safer and more comfortable she feels (which means higher feminine energy for you to enjoy).</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>4. Being unprepared.</strong></span> (Aka, boring). Have funny or meaningful stories ready to share. And don’t forget about asking interesting questions! It should never be all about you. Taking a few minutes to actually think about how you want to come across or what you’d like to convey is smart. What makes you stand out from the rest?</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>5. Failing to show your “rock star” side</strong></span>. If you're not rocking your own world or have yet to create a stellar or exciting life for yourself, why should she be attracted to you? What makes you alluring is the set of images you’re sharing about your life which incidentally should be a little more fun and exciting than hers. Talk about your experiences, not your stuff.</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>6. Playing it too safe.</strong></span> Don’t be afraid of emphasizing your masculinity. Flirting and creating appropriate “sexual tension” between you and your date is normal and healthy (Just ask the Italians!). Sexuality is a beautiful part of who we are. Being flirtatious is an indirect, fun and playful way to show someone you’re interested in them. Playing it too safe may land you in the friend zone .</div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong>7. Trying to convince her to like you.</strong> </span>You cannot convince a woman to feel differently about you with reasoning or trying too hard. If she doesn’t “feel” it for you, no amount of calculated effort will work. Preserve your dignity and try not to take it too personally. Every “no” will bring you closer to the “YES!” you’ve been waiting for.</div>
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And if all else fails, just be memorable.</h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4050575017967014744.post-50413162686939950392016-05-27T14:22:00.002-04:002016-09-12T17:26:42.037-04:00This Valentine's Day Give Yourself The Gift of Clarity<div class="itemBody" style="background-color: white; clear: both; color: #383838; font-family: merriweather, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
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<span class="itemImage" style="display: block; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><a data-k2-modal="image" href="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/b1a13794fd0f00d118feac1f61488420_XL.jpg" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) !important; color: #00a4e4; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.2s ease-out;" title="Click to preview image"><img alt="This Valentine’s Day Give Yourself The Gift of Clarity" src="http://nohoartsdistrict.com/media/k2/items/cache/b1a13794fd0f00d118feac1f61488420_L.jpg" style="border: 1px solid rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4); height: auto; margin: 10px 0px 15px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle; width: 600px;" /></a></span><br />
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Whether you’re single or not, do yourself a favor: forget Hallmark for a second and dig deep.</div>
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By asking yourself these essential questions, you may discover the key to your own heart:</h4>
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• Am I unhappy being single? If so, ask yourself why.<br />
• What do you think a relationship can bring you?<br />
• Are your expectations realistic?<br />
• Do you secretly believe it will solve all of your current “issues”?<br />
• Are you preventing Mr. /Ms. Right from coming into your life?<br />
• Are you choosing emotionally unavailable people who are wasting your time?<br />
• Are you doing anything to change your current situation of being single?<br />
• Do you keep choosing the same types (and expecting there to be a different result)?<br />
• Are you holding onto limiting beliefs (“there’s nobody out there for me”)?<br />
• Or unhealthy thoughts (“all men are dogs; all women are shallow”)?</div>
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Now’s the time to talk with your closest (and hopefully brutally honest) friends about their observations of your dating life. Sometimes we do not see things clearly when we’re so close to them. The right friends (read emotionally healthy) will be able to provide valuable insight if you’re ready to hear it.</div>
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Oh and “they need to fit in with my friends” is a limiting belief that should never be a prerequisite. You’re not trying to build a meaningful life with your friends; they have their own lives. Your relationship should be your top priority; the right friends will understand and support that. Friends will come and go but your relationship is meant to last. Why does your friend’s opinion matter so much anyway?</div>
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These are all attitudes that keep you tucked into your sweet comfort zone (party of one?).</div>
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…And if you’re in a relationship, take stock of your current situation.</div>
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Slow down long enough to ask yourself these basic questions:</h4>
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• Am I happy with my partner?<br />
• Do I feel safe?<br />
• Does he / she really see me and support me to be the best that I can be?<br />
• Do I feel fulfilled?<br />
• Can I see them being the mother / father of my children? (if you want kids)<br />
• Are we actually building something together or are we just hanging out?</div>
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Checking in with ourselves consistently is our personal responsibility. Make sure your precious time is spent with the right person.</div>
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Happy Valentine’s Day!</div>
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May the “sweet nothings” you hear be genuine and fulfilling.</h4>
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Dating Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06409464838153499375noreply@blogger.com1