Are you "Better on Paper" ?

These days we are navigating so many worlds in dating. There’s the virtual world, the tech world, the Facebook world and the real world. With so much emphasis on technology, people get so caught up in making a grand appearance. Too bad it doesn’t always match who they are in the real world.

The latest and greatest in social media allows anyone to be ‘Someone’. The socially inept guy is suddenly a Lothario through his well-crafted words, the straight-laced computer geek becomes super hip through his hi-tech graphic skills, the ugly duckling becomes a swan after uploading an amazing picture that took her 82 tries to get the right angle that hid her imperfections or the highly accomplished gentleman who proudly lists his Ivy-league education and impressive income but has no clue how to make a woman laugh. In one respect, technology has made it easier for singles that are somehow “challenged” in the dating world. Hiding behind technology is a sport these days. Unfortunately, it can become “Game Over” when we step out into the real world. Which is why the art of connection is still and will always be the most important “tool” in dating. So it’s essential to address those things that stand in your way of meeting your potential mate. If you’re posting pictures from more than 5 years ago because you want to appeal to a younger age range, chances are you are fishing in an inappropriate age range to begin with. Think it’s clever to send a picture of you from 20 pounds ago? Surely they won’t notice when you meet them in person! Is your online picture strategically shot where it covers up your bald head? Don’t think she’ll notice when you take off that baseball cap, huh? Are your social skills an “8” online and a”2” off line?
Come on, people. There are two options here: accept or change. Accept who you are – imperfections and all -- and OWN IT which means you will not hide your less-than-perfect “bits”. Besides, the person who falls in love with you will love all of you and that’s who you want to meet.
Or change. If you’re ashamed of the extra weight, do something about it. The dating pool becomes exponentially larger as you become smaller (aka more fit). If you’re unsure about how to approach / connect with singles, hire a dating coach or join a few groups.
Step out of your comfort zone and into the real world. It’s a much more rewarding place to be and feel.