They say men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears.
While physical attraction is the first thing that gets them in the door, there are a few other ‘essentials’ that initially captivate men and keep them interested in moving forward with a woman they just met.
Here are seven qualities that consistently come up for our eligible bachelors (and guarantee them asking for a second date):
- Fun. This is always #1. A woman who is playful, has a decent sense of adventure and doesn’t take life too seriously is wildly attractive for a man. “She laughs easily and appreciates the little things in life” is a recurring statement.
- Positive. Sometimes we hear “She was such a Debby Downer”. Everyone goes through challenging moments in their life where they need to vent but a first date with a stranger is not the place to unload in detail. “A woman who is happy with her life is wife material for me” said quite a few of the gentlemen in our portfolio.
- Flexible. “The opposite of high-maintenance. My dream woman loves champagne but she’s also cool drinking a beer with me” declared our European client. Too many rules, a rigid mindset or saying “I hate ….” Or “I can’t stand …..” is a big turn-off for men.
- Authentic. Being genuine comes up a lot. Poseurs, name-droppers, label-shamers and over-all superficiality were deal breakers. One gentleman was so turned off when one of the first things his date asked him was “What are you wearing?” (She worked in fashion, but still). Guys don’t care about whom you know either. They only care about how you make them feel during the date.
- Kind. This golden quality goes a long way. Men pay attention. They observe how you speak with the wait staff, others around you, on a phone call, etc...If you’re nasty or dismissive with others but turn towards your date with a smile, he will take note. And eventually, take off. “I had a huge checklist before I met my wife. There was only one thing on that list I would never overlook: a genuinely kindhearted person” said Mark, one of our happily married (former) clients.
- Smart. “Being intellectually stimulating and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics will always supersede shallow beauty in the long run” said one CEO of a huge technology firm. According to him, “it’s not about how smart she is or what she knows; it’s more about her curiosity about different topics and her desire to know more”.
- Independent. Many men try to steer clear of women who they perceive as“expecting me to go out of my way to entertain her or think of things to do”. They do not want to be a woman’s primary source of entertainment. This sentiment is consistent: “A woman with her own life is incredibly attractive”. Her own life means: her own career, her own set of friends, her own way of thinking and her own dreams.