This Valentine's Day Give Yourself The Gift of Clarity

Whether you’re single or not, do yourself a favor: forget Hallmark for a second and dig deep.

By asking yourself these essential questions, you may discover the key to your own heart:

• Am I unhappy being single? If so, ask yourself why.
• What do you think a relationship can bring you?
• Are your expectations realistic?
• Do you secretly believe it will solve all of your current “issues”?
• Are you preventing Mr. /Ms. Right from coming into your life?
• Are you choosing emotionally unavailable people who are wasting your time?
• Are you doing anything to change your current situation of being single?
• Do you keep choosing the same types (and expecting there to be a different result)?
• Are you holding onto limiting beliefs (“there’s nobody out there for me”)?
• Or unhealthy thoughts (“all men are dogs; all women are shallow”)?

Now’s the time to talk with your closest (and hopefully brutally honest) friends about their observations of your dating life. Sometimes we do not see things clearly when we’re so close to them. The right friends (read emotionally healthy) will be able to provide valuable insight if you’re ready to hear it.

Oh and “they need to fit in with my friends” is a limiting belief that should never be a prerequisite. You’re not trying to build a meaningful life with your friends; they have their own lives. Your relationship should be your top priority; the right friends will understand and support that. Friends will come and go but your relationship is meant to last. Why does your friend’s opinion matter so much anyway?

These are all attitudes that keep you tucked into your sweet comfort zone (party of one?).

…And if you’re in a relationship, take stock of your current situation.

Slow down long enough to ask yourself these basic questions:

• Am I happy with my partner?
• Do I feel safe?
• Does he / she really see me and support me to be the best that I can be?
• Do I feel fulfilled?
• Can I see them being the mother / father of my children? (if you want kids)
• Are we actually building something together or are we just hanging out?

Checking in with ourselves consistently is our personal responsibility. Make sure your precious time is spent with the right person.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

May the “sweet nothings” you hear be genuine and fulfilling.