Monday, February 10, 2014

'Tis the Season to Fly Solo ... and Stay Grounded.

There’s a reason why high season in matchmaking starts in September. People anticipate the pending holidays and nobody wants to go through it alone. The stress, expectations, frenetic pace, obligations, retail ruckus…OY! Of course spending the holidays with the one we love is simply delicious but I often wonder if people try too hard to create magic with the wrong person or Mr./ Ms. Right Now. It is a very vulnerable time of year for a lot of people that can foster social anxiety, family dysfunction, excessiveness and bad behavior. It’s also a very beautiful time when traditions and loved ones gather ‘round to make more sweet memories.

At times I have observed a subtle frenzy from our clients who will do anything to find someone with whom to go through the holidays. Herein lies the challenge. It’s already a heady time when people first start dating. There are questions, high emotions, sometimes misunderstandings when two people who barely know each other try to explore their potential connection. Add cryptic text messages, holiday parties, tight schedules, pre-made travel plans and mix in a dollop of imbalanced expectations and you have a recipe for miscommunication. Then there’s the pressure of integrating the new guy /girl you’re dating with your family and friends. Too much. Too soon.

Instead, if you’re going to be alone for the holidays, why not consider the following:
Find others who are alone and invite them to share your own table. A lot of people are in the same boat. Create your own memories and traditions with them. Ask everyone to share something they typically eat on the holidays so that everyone can be enjoying and sharing a piece of their own tradition.
Nurture yourself. If being around people and noise is not your thing, stay quiet with yourself. Treat yourself beautifully. Cook a lovely dinner. Go for a manicure or massage, play your favorite music, catch up on a beloved hobby. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend or family member.
Volunteer to serve a meal at a shelter or soup kitchen. Make a difference and touch others with your good will. There is very little else that will make you feel so good.
Plan ahead. If it looks like you're going to be spending the time on your own, let your friends know. People get so absorbed and stressed this time of year but if your friends know you will be alone and they’ll be in town, I would be surprised if you didn’t receive invitations from all of them. If you’re not up for joining in someone else’s festivities, leave town. Traveling is the best way to get out of your head and your own way; if you seek adventure, you will find it.
Be grateful. Keep a positive attitude about all you do have and focus less on what you don’t. There are loads of people who have it worse than you. Make a list and check it frequently.
Finally, if you are in a proactive mood, call us for a free consultation. We’ll do everything we can to get you on the right track for next year.

Happy Holidays and Expect good things!!!

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