Getting Past "Hello"

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  A first impression in dating used to be based on how you felt as soon as you saw someone and started chatting them up.

  These days a simple hello can be interpreted in so many different ways since it’s usually cloaked in technology and sent by a stranger.

  Ok, not exactly a stranger but someone whose picture and personal information you’ve combed through on a dating site.

  Recently, a client of ours almost did not go out with her (blind) date because he texted something very non-committal before the date like “Just confirming our 6pm on Friday”. She was so turned off that he did not introduce himself or say how much he looked forward to meeting her. And no, she’s not high maintenance; she’s right.

  Singles need to start stepping up their game and stop hiding behind technology. A first impression begins the second you hit ‘send’.

  Here are four ways to make an impactful first impression in today’s tech-drunk world:

  1. Clarity matters. Men: if you are interested in a woman, be clear. Don’t say “Hey let’s hang out sometime” or “I’d love to take you to dinner” or “There’s a cool party this Friday night; you should stop by”. Be solid, confident and specific: “I’d love to take you out for a sushi dinner next Friday; are you free?” If she cannot make it (and she’s interested in you), she will politely decline and suggest a time(s) when she is available.

  2. Brevity rules. There is so much that gets lost in translation when strangers start trying to get to know each other through technology. If you think about it, it’s really an insane way to get to know someone. Don’t get so personal. Keep it light and fun. It’s all about the banter and keeping things intriguing enough to want to take things offline and into real life.

  3. Differentiate yourself. Freak them out with an actual phone call!! There are so many old school singles who prefer an initial call over texts. It shows respect, confidence and a certain level of commitment. Men rarely call; you will definitely grab her attention if you do.

  4. Share your preferred method of communication early on. Be true to who you are and communicate the way that best suits you. So many relationships fall to the wayside because people are unsure about what the other person meant or have different expectations regarding the appropriate amount of texts to show interest. Try to have that actual conversation from the start so there’s little room for misunderstanding. People who communicate similarly tend to have a better chance at a relationship.

  A special connection is difficult to find. Preserve it with crystal clear interactions from the start so your relationship has a winning chance.